Student’s reply: “There were none?”

·        “Anyone who wants a yellow card, keep talking now”

Student’s reply: “What does ‘yellow’ mean?”

·        “What is a capillary?”

Student’s reply: “It opens up and turns into a butterfly!”

·        Mrs Grimley: “You just can’t get the staff these days”

Student: “That’s what Mr. Lee says!”

·        Ms. Wilshaw - “Does the floor have anything else to say?”

Student: (looks down to the carpet) “Got anything to say, floor?”

·        “How much trouble would you get into if you accidentally killed a teacher?”

·        “I need a fit boy to come to school because I’m really, really BORED!”

·        Student: We can take bits from each religion

Teacher: Like a pick 'n' mix??

Student 1: Yeah, like worshipping cows!

Student 2: And Tesco! I like Tesco, can we pray in there?

Student 3: I like chocolate cones in my pick 'n' mix…

(On creating their own religion)

·  Student: How can someone have half religions?

Teacher: what?!?!

Student: yeah, so and so said they're half Jewish and half Catholic

Teacher: oh . . . so what do you call someone who believes everything? (meaning religions)

Student: (after pause) Gullible?