Mr. Scanlan: Yeah, I thought I saw someone nearly crash!

·        Can you have a relationship with a whole tribe? That’s, like, an orgy, isn’t it?

(Mr. Scanlan perplexed after seeing some of Mr. Shea’s love-triangles)

·        “…like saying ‘boo!’ to a goose!”

(apparently, a most popular saying … apparently …)

·        ‘Feck’ isn’t a swear-word, it doesn’t mean that. My mother says it all the time. When she’s lost something, she’ll say ‘Where the feck has that thing gone?!”

(So long as you believe that, Mr. S…)

• “You’ve got to be joking – you don’t think you’re gonna send something as big as that, you silly fool!”

(What Mr. Scanlan’s computer said to him)

• “Computers have a great way of making you feel stupid; ‘well done, you have now destroyed everything!”

• “Oxymorons: awfully nice … like *insert student’s name* and funny…”

• “It was a complete … spherical-objects up!”

• “Have you seen Colin Farrell playing Alexander the Great? It’s like watching Dustin the Turkey!”
• “If I read it like that all the way through, you’d all die!”

(Over-exaggeration? Never!)

·        “If you’re planning on going into the teaching profession, you will have no life! Be warned…”

·        “Clearly, there’s a picture of Vivien’s ankle you’re not allowed to see”

(Mr. Scanlan didn’t take kindly to the Tennyson website he needed for his lesson being blocked)

·        “They have tracking every 5mins in this school – oh, that’s the lunchtime bell, let’s do some more tracking…”

·        “Maud is a great vomit of a poem – he just throws it up!”

·        “I’ve got a whole load of bloody … sorry, excuse my language… *10 seconds later* The silly buggers haven’t put the prices on!”

·        “It starts off and then goes all weird … just like life, I suppose!”

·        Look up this poem on the Internet and you’ll find about 30,000 different versions of it. There’s one really pompous old git who reads it like Laurence Olivier…”

·        “Go and kill Mr. Shea, and then…”

(Scanlan provides a new stance on student homework…)